Monday, December 14, 2015

EP Cover Design Contest

A few weeks ago, we announced an "EP cover design-contest".  As you might guess, this could also have been called "please design our album for us for free".  In a way, this is exploitative and wrong, but fortunately for us we do not care.

We didn't quite know what to expect, but we were blown away, and even a little touched, by what we recieved.  There are a lot of awesome people around who really understand what we're all about, and that's very gratifying.  We have picked a winner, but we will wait until that design is finalized before showing it to you.  Until then, here are the runners-up, each tied for second place:

1.  "Eric Wants to Polka"

The designer, oh, let's call him "Eric", has put together what can only be described as a masterpiece.  It has everything: energy, focus, balance and charm.  The only reason we didn't pick this one is that it is a little too "polished", and we were going for something that looked a little less professional.  Keep it up, Eric, you've clearly got a huge future in graphic design.

2. "Bite Me"

This one is simple, direct, and perhaps a little bit mentally deranged.  Bonus points for the phallic imagery, and I'm not quite sure what the two figures on the left are doing, but all in all a solid effort.

3. "Keepin 'er Outta The Cabbage" (Kells Version)

Sent by Tom McSod of The Staggerers, this one has Cider, apples, giants, and all kinds of medieval imagery.  We wish we were smart enough to "get" all the references in this one: there is some kind of vine growing around a stump, and artsy types could probably tell us which norse god or phronecian fable it referrs to.  Still, A+!

4. "rediC"

It took us a long time to figure this one out: it looks like a pirate-explorer on a terrifying island cut through with a river of sludge, with a blobby, sphincter-like thing poking out from a horrible sea of miniature green alien eggs.  We were going to pass the guy's email on to the psychiatric authorities.  Closer inspection reveals that it is just poutine and cider imagery, and that we are just extremely disturbed for thinking otherwise.  Phew!

5.  "Murder Pig"

 Um... oh, dear.  The pig means business.  The pig is chopping someone up and there is blood.  Awesome!  The only reason we didn't pick this one is that we didn't think we could get a grant from the government with an album called "Murder Pig".  I MEAN, WAIT, WE DON'T GET GRANTS FROM THE GOVERNMENT.  HA HA.  THAT WAS A JOKE.  STEPHEN HARPER, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, THAT WAS A JOKE.  PLEASE DON'T LOOK INTO THIS.

6. "Keepin 'er Outta the Cabbage" (Witch Version)

Wow.  Dark, brooding woman holding a bleeding cabbage.  This clearly portrays a goth lady who is married to a husband that she has come to despise.  She is seeking revenge on him by deliberately cutting herself while she makes his cole slaw. 

7.  "Togetherness" 

It simply doesn't get any better than this.  As everyone knows, the squid and the octopus are enemies in real life, which is what makes this submission so heartwarming.  It's about the power of alcohol to bring even the most antagonistic people together in joyous celebration and friendship.  The octopus is hammered (hence the X's in his eyes) and the squid seems to have mixed his rum with some antihistamines or perhaps a few tabs of acid.  The message is clear: substance abuse solves all of our problems.

So, thanks to everyone who submitted.  We could have used any of these, and it is clear that there are a lot of wonderful, talented, batshit insane people out there. 


  1. that psycho bitch is the best :)

  2. Hey guys, I was lucky enough to see you playing in Bristol with the Surfin Turnips, great stuff!! Being an old Slayer fan I would have gone with Axe to go now, I'm on me way to Turbo Island

  3. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  4. Please, please, please come to Sweden!

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