Amsterdam

Insane few nights. No time to describe it all. However, a brief summary:

1. Met and partied with "Nubs" from the NOFX song.
2. Chi Pig from SNFU is AWESOME.
3. Drank a box of wine in an alley. Shouted "LIVING THE DREAM" over and over.
4. Got on CBC Radio (nationwide) because we have a polka song.
5. SSB inhales cigar, gets extremely sick. Learns (at age 27) that cigars are not for inhaling.
6. Got parking ticket while unloading: ate parking ticket.
7. Seriously: ate it.
8. Seamus attacked by Wild Urban Mohawked Eagle.
9. Ate final Poutine of the tour. Europe: no poutine. Fail.
10. Many Dreadnoughts fall in love with Ottawa. wtf.
11. Van smells like sadness.
12. Why did Julia Roberts rub feces on her genitals? BECAUSE SHE WAS HORNY. BRRRRAAAAAAUUUUUG.
13. Uncle Touchy's lip smashed in by microphone. According to local women, this is an "improvement".
14. BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG.

Flying to Amsterdam tonight. Will shortly acquire hookers, 'shrooms and Druzil has vowed to do a shot of absinthe out of a 300-pound stripper's navel. STAY THE FUCK TUNED.