Folding T-Shirts: The FInal Frontier

Before leaving Vancouver, we thought we'd fold our t-shirts in order to save some space. This all sounded fine until we realized that there were 850 of them:


That's Squidney under the shirts. JESUS CHRIST.

JESUS CHRIST.

Nine trillion hours later, we left Vancouver and decided to pass the time in the van by playing this game called "who would you rather do?" We started off, obviously, with Star Trek: The Next Generation.

"Tasha Yar", I offered.

"Nope," said Druzil. "I'd rather do the Counselor."

"GO AND FUCK YOURSELF, YOU STUPID DIRTY HIPPY TWAT," I responded. "THE *COUNSELOR*???"

"I'd rather do Captain Picard," said Seamus. There was much agreement on this fact and on the fact that Druzil is a total fucktard.

Then we decided that Queen Latifah is way hotter than Oprah AND Tyra Banks. I don't know who Tyra Banks is, but I think she was a character in Mary Poppins.

Then we decided that R2D2 is hotter than C3PO. There was rare unanimity on this one. The reason? "R2 has those little electric taser-prodders," said Squidney. "That might be kind of fun."

Hot!

Finally, we established that none of us would have sex with the giant turtle from The Neverending Story. It's important to think about these things in advance in case the opportunity arises.

And then we played a show.

We're off now to eat breakfast, sit around a fire and try to come to a decision on whether or not Darth Vader would be a good lay.

- Uncle Touchy